Unusual Acts Of Devotion – Monologue (Josie)

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A monologue from the play by Terrence McNally

JOSIE

(Finishes her glass of wine and pours herself another one.) Number four, Mrs. Darnell! But who’s counting?

You’ve got the right idea: sleep: it’s the most underrated human activity there is. Eating is great, sex used to be great (remember when sex was great, Mrs. Darnell?)

— but even at their best — dinner at Antoine’s or a really good bed partner (and God knows there were never many of them) — food and making love can’t hold a candle to sleep.

Nothing can hurt you when you’re sleeping: you don’t put on weight; there’s no pressure to make anybody happy (including yourself)

like when you’re making love; and bad dreams — even the worst ones — are soon forgotten. Sleep is a lovely practice for death.

The real thing won’t be so bad when it comes along. (She drinks some wine.) But until then, I keep waking up to the same old ship. Sh*t. I said ship.

I meant sh*t. Same old sh*t, same old sh*t. See? I can say it. This happens when I drink, if I’m not careful, Mrs. Darnell.

My tongue gets thick. My defenses drop. I say lewd things. I do lewd things. I did a really lewd thing, the lewdest thing I ever did and I was stone cold sober.

He told me he loved me. I told him he didn’t have to say that. He said it anyway. I love you, Miss Shelton, I love you.

(She isn’t finding anything in Leo’s collection.) There’s never anything you want to play! Why is that? (She gives up.)

I’d rather no music than music I don’t really want. We can listen to the music of the city on a warm summer night.

Ssssh! Listen. There is so much to hear if you just stay quiet and listen for it. (She stands at the parapet and looks out. We listen to the city with her for a while.)

You know what I like most about New York? You can be completely anonymous here.

No ones care who you are but you, what you do but you, who you inappropriately f*** but you.

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HOUSE OF BLUE LEAVES (BUNNY)LAUNDRY AND BOURBON (HATTIE)
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ACT A LADY (LORNA)ARE WE THERE YET? (AMANDA)
A TIME FOR EVERYTHING (OLIVE)VAUDEVILLE (YVETTE)
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LAST OF THE RED HOT LOVERS (JEANETTE)CLOUD NINE (BETTY)
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UNUSUAL ACTS OF DEVOTION (JOSIE)SINGLE BLACK FEMALE (SBF2)
TRANSATLANTIC (FIONA)U.S. DRAG (ALLISON)
THE OTHER GENIUS (FIONA)SOMEBODY’S DAUGHTER (KATE)
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OFFICE SONATA (MARISA)PALESTRINA (BECKY)
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