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A monologue from the SNL comedy sketch Shakespeare in the Slums by Danitra Vance
Flotilda
I’m Flotilda Williams. I’m a classical actress. Right now I am in a production downtown with a group called Shakespeare in the Slums.
We are doing a play by Mister William Shakespeares call Romeo and Juliet. And me, I’m Juliet, okay.
Now what I want to do for y’all is to extrapolate and explainate on what be going on in the show.
The show starts and a lot of things happen but really we just gonna skip all that and get to the good part, where I come in.
I’m at this party, a lot of fancy people there and I’m there and I’m there with my Mama and the Nurse.
Even so I manage to meet this guy. A very good-lookin’ guy, makes me laugh with his funny funny jokes, probably got some money.
So I like him. His name is Romeo. I have thus extrapolated the title—Romeo and me, Juliet, okay.
Anyway the party is not even half over when my Mama and the Nurse say, “Juliet it’s time to go.”
And I say, “Okay, I’ll be right with you.” So she find Romeo and they say goodbye by touching fingertips like this, (Gesture) completely missing the point.
After that I go home and I’m trying to be asleep but I can’t sleep ‘cause I’m thinkin’ ‘bout this guy.
How much I want to see him again. How much I want to talk to him again. How much I want to do things with him I’ve never done before.
Now in the meantime the guy, Romeo, is down in the alleyway lookin’ up in my window.
Now he not lookin’ up in my window because he a freak or nothin’ like that, he lookin’ up in my window because he like me, okay. Then he start to talk to hisself.
Now, he not talkin’ to hisself ‘cause he crazy or nothin’, he talk to hisself ‘cause it’s a play, okay. People in plays talk to theyselves a lot.
And he say, he say, “But soft! what light throo yonder windo’ break?” That’s when I break through the window.
