All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Monologues are presented on MightyActor for educational purposes only .
A monologue from the play by Terrence McNally
Dana, a jogger, attempts to have a conversation with Willy, another jogger. Willy jogs off and she responds.
Don’t let it go to your head! I say hello to everyone! I even talk to total a**holes like you. (To audience.) Why did I have to tell him that? What business of his is it why I do this? I do this because I’m worried I’m getting a big a**.
I don’t think he’s worried he’s getting a big a**. It was small talk. I’m not very good at it. So take me out there and feed me to the sharks! I hate small talk. There should be a federal law against it.
All I had to say was “Hi, I’m Dana. I think you’re very attractive and you look like someone I used to know and if you’re not, I still think you’re very attractive and I would very much like to sleep with you,
I think, and I wonder what you think of women who say things like that, so let me re-phrase all that and ask you if you’re ever so lonely, so achingly lonely, that your a** could be as big as China
and you wouldn’t give a damn or that you would like to walk out into that surf there and start swimming and swim and swim and swim and swim until you couldn’t anymore
and you went under and you finally took that one big breath that would fill your lungs with water and have you ever wondered what it would be like to go that way?
No, Dana, darling, I don’t think that’s a good opening conversational gambit either. Tell him he looks like Willy Bukowski, someone you went to high school with and had a big crush on in the 11th grade before you moved to Ohio and never got over.
It’s a small world, but not that small. Not that small. It never was, never will be. I don’t know why I keep doing this. It’s not my a** I should be worried about.