One Man, Two Guvnors – Monologue (Dolly)

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A monologue from the play by Richard Bean

Act Two, Scene One


(To Pauline:) He’s not worth it, love. He’d stand there and watch you do it, and not raise a finger. Look at him.

You’re not the great romantic lover, are you? You’re a bit of a prick. Let me give you some advice.

Men, they’ll do anything to get you into bed. Lie, cheat, buy you a bed. And the tragedy is that once they’ve had you, they’ll never want you as much ever again.

(Aside.) Don’t take notes girls, there’s a handout at the end. (To Alan:) You want to watch your tongue, young man, slagging us women off.

It’s 1963, there’s a revolution coming. I predict in twenty years’ time there’ll be a woman in Ten Downing Street, yeah, and she won’t be doing the washing up.

Then you’ll see exactly what women can do. You’ll see a more just and fair society.

The feminine voice of compassion for the poor will be the guiding principle of government, and there’ll be an end to foreign wars.

Read the play here

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