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A monologue from the play by Zina Camblin
KEISHA (twenties, African American)
Keisha is talking to her friend Jasmine about “Black Compulsive Disorder” and what she intends to do about it.
Black Obsessive Compulsive! You’ve seen it on Seinfeld, and Frazier, but us B.O.C.’s are in full effect. We’re just closeted cause our people don’t put up with that sh*t! “Keisha let me get a lick of your ice cream cone” . . .
“What you mean no?” Can you get a spoon? “Mutha f***a! I just want one lick. Why you gotta be all stingy?” I’m not being stingy. I just don’t want mouth bacteria on my cone. So then I hear:
“Crazy-a**. Black folks ain’t supposed to be actin’ like that. You got that white-people mental disease. What’s that sh*t called? Obsolete, obtuse complexion — some sh*t — that’s what you got.”
(Starts coughing.) Ah man, I can’t take this cough. It’s a deep one. Must have caught it from homeboy on the bus. Why is it that people find this an acceptable thing to do?
(She sneezes without covering her mouth.) Or this? (She coughs without covering her mouth.) Now I’m sick. Even though I held my breath for twenty seconds.
That’s the exact time it takes for germs to disintegrate after they’ve been released from their host body. People don’t understand the danger of germs. Did ya see the movie “Outbreak”?
Did you see all them nasty-a** monkeys? That’s why I had to start my own company, B.O.C. Inc. This germ stuff is deeper than you think. My company is dedicated to the survival of our people.
(Jasmine laughs.) I’m serious. Think about it. What is black peoples’ primary mode of transportation in this city? . . . That’s right. Public transportation. Moving germ receptacles!
What kind of restaurants line the streets of our black neighborhoods? Organic markets? No. McDonalds, Wendy’s, Burger King. Where are food servers the least likely to wash their hands?
Fast food restaurants. It’s a plan! They’re killing us off. Why do you think health care ain’t free? What community suffers the most? Blacks and Latinos. Doctors ain’t gonna protect us! (Takes out sanitizing wipes and begins to clean her hands.)