All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Monologues are presented on MightyActor for educational purposes only .
A monologue from the play by John William Schiffbauer
JANE (thirties – early forties)
Jane Forge, a high-powered Hollywood talent agent, is on the phone with the producer of one of her star client’s recent summer box office blockbusters.
The producer is trying to get out of having to pay her client a contractual 20% back-end gross fee.
Seymour. Seymour, listen. Listen to me, Sey. Listen, Seymour, I don’t care how far back we. This is your problem.
No, no, no, no. Well, how would you like it if I shoved a ball gag in your mouth, and then f***ed you up the a** with a giant strap-on, because that’s what this is beginning to feel like.
No, that is not. That’s not. That is not what we agreed upon, Seymour, and what’s more you know it. We agreed, listen, listen, we.
We agreed, what we agreed upon was this, we agreed on two for the first, and four for the second, and if by some miracle there happened to be a third, what we agreed on was six.
Now, you’re telling me that because. Well, that’s not my problem, Seymour, you signed a contract, and I hate to break it to you but the contract clearly states twenty percent.
That’s twenty percent of box office. Listen to me very carefully, Seymour. I could give a good a**f*** about how far over budget you may think you are.
Point is, you should’ve thought of that before you inked the g*ddamn deal.
That’s fine, Seymour, but know that if you do decide to take this thing to court then I’m gonna have your balls in a jar
on a shelf in my trophy case before you can even get granted an automatic stay. Because I know the f***ing judge, that’s how.
Comprende? Good. Goodbye.
Check out our monologue archive below for more monologues.