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A monologue from the play by Idris Goodwin
AUNT KELLY
I’ve got something to show you. Don’t be shy. Come on. But be quiet. Your mama’s asleep. We don’t want to wake her up.
(Pats around for something. Finds it—a folded 8 × 10 sheet of paper.) This is for you. It’s a list.
I wanna give this to you—but I have to kind of explain it to you first. I see how your mother talks to you and don’t get me wrong.
She is my sister and everything but—Don’t get me wrong. But I don’t see a little girl when I see you. I see a young woman. Yeah—an older girl.
You are a . . . a viper, like your Aunt Kelly. And these are all the things you gotta know.
- Everybody is going to tell you what they know, but nobody knows—except your Aunt Kelly.
- That movie The Bodyguard is a lie. Nobody is coming to save you.
- Looks like I crossed that one out. What is that? Oh, (chuckles into her hand ) stupid Frank wrote this. Such a—Why don’t we just save 3 until your 18th birthday?
- Your friends are not your friends.
- It’s going to hurt the first time. It’s always going to hurt the first time.
- But it gets better, for a while at least, until it gets worse.
Your mom and dad take you to church and they’ll teach you about thy neighbors and love and thy and don’t and do.
That’s—great—that’s positive but positive is overrated.
- Positivity is something losers who don’t know that they’re losers say when crap is hitting the fan.
- Learn how to cook—but not for that reason.
- The monsters and wolves in your fairy book are real—I wouldn’t tell you this if it wasn’t true. This is why you have an aunt. Your mom and dad, they can’t tell you this stuff. It’s against the rules I guess.
I was 18 before I knew it, and my aunt, your great aunt Sandra—she waited until I was 18 to give me my list but it was kinda too late.
So I’m saying it to you now, what’re you now, 11? Oh, really? Just 9, huh? Oh, you look so much older.
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