All monologues are property and copyright of their owners. Monologues are presented on MightyActor for educational purposes only .
A monologue from the play by Sam Bobrick
GLENDA (late twenties – mid thirties)
Glenda Smith is a very confused young woman who finds herself caught between two lovers.
She addresses the audience as to what her needs once were and now are.
Why is it that everything I touch turns to crap? I learn how to drive, I run over my baby brother. At the high school prom my date falls off the hotel roof.
And it’s not just little things. It’s everything in general. Sometimes I think I was put on earth just to give God a good laugh.
(looking up to God)
Well, the joke is over and I don’t get it.
(to audience)
It’s really not that much I want out of life.
(Produces a paper.)
Here’s a list I made out not too long ago, before I was really aware of my true needs.
(Reads.)
Number one on the list, a man.
(to audience)
I’m not so sure about that any more. They seem to be a very confused breed. Always having to try to prove themselves.
Stop it and grow up. Either a man is a man or he isn’t. If he is, he is. If he isn’t, he isn’t. So what’s the big mystery?
Number two on my list. . .
(Looks at list.)
Kids? I must have been drunk when I made this list. To be very honest, kids today, no, I don’t think so.
If you don’t know enough about who you are, why would you even give a sh*t about who they are? So number two is in the trash can.
(Looks at list.)
Number three, a career.
(to audience)
Doing what? I hate computers and I despise people. Where do I go with skills like that? The DMV?
Great, I’ll stand on my feet all day long and get varicose veins. No thank you. Number four . . .
(Looks at list.)
A BMW convertible. So far that’s the only thing that still makes sense. The bottom line is that some people are luckier than other people.
It’s that simple.
Check out our monologue archive below for more monologues.