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A monologue from the play by Jordan Harrison
Lorna (30’s to 40’s)
A group of men in a small town decide to put on a play, acting all the roles, both male and female.
They have enlisted some of the ladies in their community to help, including Lorna, who is doing their makeup.
The first start to being pretty is powder for that nice even tone.
Don’t know nobody who gotta nice even tone without the helpa powder ’cept maybe the China-woman who works down in the laundry.
Asked her once how she gets such fine even tone and she touched my cheek —
her hand just shot out from behind the counter and stretched my cheek-skin between her thumb and pointer finger like that, and she said: “Peaches and cream.”
Peaches and cream is all she said but I knew somehow that meant “You’re all right, Lorna — you be happy with what you got.”
That was nice. But that’s a whole other story.
First start to being pretty is powder and you use the powder puff here, puff puff puff anywhere and everywhere but ’specially wherever it’s — darn it, darn it.
Darn it I shoulda started you all with shaving.
Shaving for the boys, gotta shave real close first or else you’ll end up looking like you’re some kinda sideshow act let out on the loose —
which is OK if that’s what you want but that’s not what we want. Illusion we want. Elegant we want. Ladies we want.
I know, I’m a dreamer, I know, that’s what they call me.
But I think when we get all your wives and sisters and mom-folk lined up opening night they’re going to see I’ve been dreaming real.
Now, third step after shave ’n powder is gonna be your eyes. Big big eyes to put Pickford to shame. You do wanna look pretty, right fellas?
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