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A monologue from the play by Don Nigro
MRS. PRIKOSOVITS (old lady)
Mrs. Prikosovits is one of the more whacked-out residents of a retirement home. Here, she is talking to another resident.
I saw that woman that what’s her name that Rooks woman used to be Johnny Palestrina’s wife Becky, we used to live across the alley from those Palestrina people, his people,
and before that she was married to that man who hung himself in the barn and now this Rooks person who is if you ask me a kind of jungle person but those Palestrinas were nice Italian people.
Raphael and Anna and Anthony the big one he was the boxer and Rosa his pretty little sister could catch Johnny’s spitball and Gina the wild one she wasn’t really bad she just had large breasts of course mine was larger
but I was fat all over before my many sicknesses and my boy Eddy took her out behind the brickyard when her brother Anthony found them in the blackberry bushes oh that was sad
and them boys would play baseball out by the mill and Johnny was the best but after the war he married that woman who was here the other day I just said her name and then I forgot
but we’re all stupid when you come right down to it look at me I married Elmo but who was she? . . . Your knees, yes. I have trouble with my knees, too. Lordy, mine buckle like a belt,
I stumble around like a hoppopitamus and I remember Elmo would punch me in the face when I ate the last doughnut in nineteen thirty-five he hit me with the garden hose he was such a pig I loved him so,
I remember on our wedding night he was so gentle it was because he didn’t know what the hell he was doing but of course I did although we each had to pretend otherwise we were
after all only babies. . . .
I’ve forgotten all about him he’s awfully dead now and you know I was saying to that skinny nurse what is her name, Jane, Nurse Jane like Uncle Wiggly’s mistress who was a muskrat
I think and he was a rabbit we used to read to the children and she’d be pretty if she didn’t always look like she was running a marathon race I said to her as she was giving me my enema
I said, Nurse Wiggly, I said, if God loves me why does he make me pee at the wrong time?