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A monologue from the play by Jeff Goode
SPIKE (twenties to thirties)
Larry is an unassuming piano player and a criminal mastermind. Spike is a dominatrix lounge singer and double murderer who works with Larry. She has much unrequited love for him. She thought Larry was dead; but he’s not.
Larry! You’re alive! Again! Oh, Larry, I’m so glad to see you. Oh, Larry. I missed you so much. When you were lying there dead, all I could think about was so many things.
You know all the stuff you never get to say to somebody until it’s too late, and then it’s too late. . . . It all happened so quick. One minute you were there, and the next minute you were . . .
(She points kinda down at the ground:) . . . there. I just couldn’t believe you were gone. And I guess you weren’t gone, so I guess I was right not to believe, wasn’t I, Larry? Oh, Larry. I’ll never believe you again.
I don’t mean that the way it came out. I mean the next time you’re dead, I won’t . . . Well, not that you were dead last time. Obviously. Obviously. Were you? I mean, I saw you shot down in cold blood, Larry. Twice! Didn’t I?
How could you have survived that? Unless you didn’t survive? Or unless . . . Oh, no. Larry, you’re not . . . you’re not . . . Larry, are you . . . ? . . . I’m sorry, Larry. I’ve got so many questions running round in my head right now.
Who was that guy? Why did he shoot you? Why did the other guy shoot you? Who was he? What about the record contract? What about Todd? Why doesn’t someone shoot Todd? I hate Todd.
Why are you looking at me like that? Who are you? What are you? Why are you here? Do you eat red meat? Do I count as red meat? But I know you don’t like to talk about these kinda things sometimes, so I’m only gonna ask you one thing.
One thing, Larry. (Pause.) Can we get married now?
