Happy Birthday Mom – Monologue (Sarah)

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A monologue from the play by Meghan Gambling

SARAH (twenties – early thirties)

Olivia has flown home to surprise her mother for her 50th birthday. On arrival she finds her mom (Evelyn) dressed in leather and waiting for a younger guy she met on Craigslist to come over for sex.

Things get more awkward when son, Tim, and his girlfriend, Sarah, show up unannounced with their own ideas of how to celebrate Evelyn’s birthday.

Well, while we’re all being honest, this is perhaps the most startling excursion to a “boyfriend’s” house that I’ve ever had to endure. From the five hour plane ride, to the four cups of coffee–

nervous I’d make a bad impression— I see now that’s a nit of a non issue — to the fact that I’ve held that balloon since 5:30 am eastern standard time because it doesn’t qualifty as a “checked baggage item” due to its propensity for popping.

Then there’s the not-so-earth-shattering revelation that my boyfriend was still dating his ex until one week ago, whose name conveniently rhymes with mine, and thus far, his entire family thinks I’m someone else.

Which brings me here, to a living room consisting of you, the birthday girl, my cheating boyfriend, an escort of sorts, and my favorite stripper. So no, Evelyn, I’m not having a particularly good time.

But it was really nice to meet you. I do wish you and young Thorn here, all the best. (to Tim) Honey? Are we ready? I think so.

Read the play here

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