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A monologue from the musical by Lisa Lambert and Greg Morrison (Based on the book by Bob Martin and Don Mckellar)
I am Aldolpho. Yes, I am Aldolpho. Yes… What? Aldolpho a scoundrel! This is outrageous! He is saying this to peoples… to beautiful ladies, with breasts for making love.
Why, I must… I must … Yes, I must take-a this groom into my hands and kill him! Show me to this groom. Wait.
What kind of man is this groom? A big man? A burly fellow? No. No. No. Aldolpho will not fight big men –
small, pale, wheezy, little dwarf people Aldopho can (mimes kicking a ball) punt far away – but no big men!
Yes, Aldolpho is a lover of beautiful ladies. Some say I am the King of Romance. (he gets an idea) Ahh! Through his woman!!
Aldolpho will make love to bride! That will show people Aldolpho is no scoundrel! Show me to this bride! Wait!
What kind of woman is this bride? Big woman? Burly woman? What? Pajamas? Show me to this cat in pajamas!
I will make her purrrrrr-r. Like a cat… in pajamas.
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