Rosencrantz And Guildenstern Are Dead – Monologue

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A monologue from the play by Tom Stoppard

Rosencrantz

Do you ever think of yourself as actually dead, lying in a box with the lid on it? Nor do I really. Silly to be depressed by it.

I mean, one thinks of it like being alive in a box. One keeps forgetting to take into account that one is dead. Which should make all the difference.

Shouldn’t it? I mean, you’d never know you were in a box would you? It would be just like you were asleep in a box.

Not that I’d like to sleep in a box, mind you. Not without any air. You’d wake up dead for a start and then where would you be?

In a box. That’s the bit I don’t like, frankly. That’s why I don’t think of it. Because you’d be helpless wouldn’t you?

Stuffed in a box like that. I mean, you’d be in there forever. Even taking into account the fact that you’re dead. It isn’t a pleasant thought.

Especially if you’re dead, really. Ask yourself: if I asked you straight off I’m going to stuff you in this box now – would you rather to be alive or dead?

Naturally you’d prefer to be alive. Life in a box is better than no life at all. I expect. You’d have a chance at least.

You could lie there thinking, well, at least I’m not dead. In a minute, somebody’s going to bang on the lid and tell me to come out.

(knocks) “Hey you! What’s your name? Come out of there!”

Read the play here

Check out our monologue archive below for more monologues.

BALD SOPRANO (MR. SMITH)WHAT THE BUTLER SAW (Dr. RANCE)
THE SPOTTED MAN (EUGENE)THE ACTOR’S NIGHTMARE (GEORGE)
THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG (CHRIS)ROSENCRANTZ AND GUILDENSTERN ARE DEAD (ROSENCRANTZ)
THE PLAY THAT GOES WRONG (JONATHAN)ONE MAN, TWO GUVNORS (ALAN)
THE RELEASE OF A LIVE PERFORMANCE (BRENT)WOLF AT THE DOOR (GARTH)
THE ODD COUPLE (OSCAR 1)ONE MAN, TWO GUVNORS (FRANCIS 1)
THE ODD COUPLE (OSCAR 2)ONE MAN, TWO GUVNORS (FRANCIS 2)
THE COLORED MUSEUM (THE GOSPEL ACCORDING TO MISS ROJ)PETER PAN GOES WRONG (CHRIS)
PETER PAN GOES WRONG (DENNIS)PETER PAN GOES WRONG (ROBERT)
PETER PAN GOES WRONG (TREVOR)FEIFFER'S PEOPLE (HIPPIE)
COCKEYED (PHIL)COCKEYED (PHIL – 2)
GOD OF CARNAGE (ALAN 1)
GOD OF CARNAGE (ALAN 2)
GOD OF CARNAGE (MICHAEL)BRIGHTON BEACH MEMORIES (EUGENE)
THE LIEUTENANT OF INISHMORE (CHRISTY)THE LIEUTENANT OF INISHMORE (PADRAIC)
MOJO (BABY)GOD OF CARNAGE (MICHAEL 2)
BAD HABITS (HUGH)THE MARRIAGE OF BETTE AND BOO (FATHER DONNALLY)
I HATE HAMLET (ANDREW) BOY'S LIFE (PHIL)
BURN THIS (PALE)I OUGHT TO BE IN PICTURES (HERB)
LAST OF THE RED HOT LOVERS (BARNEY)LAUGHING WILD (A MAN)
THE MATCHMAKER (VANDERGELDER)THE NERD (WILLUM)
OH DAD, POOR DAD, MAMMA’S HUNG YOU IN THE CLOSET AND I’M FEELIN’ SO SAD (JONATHAN)THE TIME OF YOUR LIFE (HARRY)
Hurt Village (Skillet)LOOKING AGAIN (BILL)
PASTIME (CASEY) NOISES OFF (LLOYD 1)
BRIGHTON BEACH MEMOIRS (EUGENE 2)NOISES OFF (LLOYD 2)
IT'S ONLY A PLAY (FRANK)SEX LIVES OF OUR PARENTS (ELLIOT)
FORTINBRAS (FORTINBRAS)GLORIA (SHAWN)
TANGO (STROMIL)THE VERI**ON PLAY (LARS)
SAY DE KOONING (WILLIE)APOSIOPESIS (MARCEL)
THE HUNTER’S MOON (SHEP)THE TWO-MAN KIDNAPPING RULE (VINCENT)
THE TIGER AMONG US (PAO)EDDIE MUNDO EDMUNDO (NYIN)
TROPICAL HEAT (ERIC)Codger Talk (Bob)
DONTRELL, WHO KISSED THE SEA (ROBBY)KODACHROME (ROBERT)
THE DROWSY CHAPERONE (MAN IN CHAIR 1)PETER AND THE STARCATCHER (BLACK STACHE 1)
THE DROWSY CHAPERONE (MAN IN CHAIR 2)PETER AND THE STARCATCHER (BLACK STACHE 2)
THE DROWSY CHAPERONE (MAN IN CHAIR 3)My Fair Lady (Mr. Higgins)
THE DROWSY CHAPERONE (ADOLPHO)The Man Who Came To Dinner (Beverly)
FEIFFER’S PEOPLE (BERNARD)THE MAN WHO MARRIED A DUMB WIFE (LEONARD)
POOR JOHN (JOHN)THE PROFESSION (EUGENE)
ETA PHOENIX (GREG)PYGMALION (DOOLITTLE 1)
FADING JOY (EDDIE)PYGMALION (DOOLITTLE 2)
THE SPELLIN’ BEE DINNER WITH FRIENDS (TOM)
EXTRACTS FROM ADAM’S DIARY (ADAM 1)SAVAA (SPERANSKY)
EXTRACTS FROM ADAM’S DIARY (ADAM 2)THE GOAL (SIR STEPHEN)
THE WORKER (MAN)MOTHERF**ER WITH THE HAT (JACKIE)

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