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A monologue from the play by Jez Butterworth
Act 2, Scene 2
Baby
….I was about nine, bit younger, and my dad tells me we’re driving to the country for the day. He’s got this half share in this caff at the time, and it was doing really badly.
There was a war on. So he was always really busy working day and night, so like, this was totally out of the blue.
So I got in his van with him, and we drive off and I notice that in the front of the cab there’s this bag of big sharp knives.
And a saw and a big meat cleaver. And I thought ‘This is it. He’s going to kill me. He’s going to take me off and kill me once and for all.’
And I sat there in silence all the way to Wales and I knew that day I was about to die. So we drive till it goes dark, and Dad pulls the van into this field.
And we sit there in silence. And there’s all these cows in the field, watching us. And suddenly Dad slams his foot down and we ram this f***ing great cow clean over the top of the van.
And it tears off the bonnet and makes a great dent in the top, but it was dead all right. See we’d gone all the way to Wales to rustle us a cow.
For the caff. Now a dead cow weighs half a ton. So you’ve got to cut it up there and then. And I was so relieved I had tears in my eyes.
And we hacked that cow to pieces, sawing, chopping, ripping. With all the other cows standing around in the dark, watching.
Then when we’d finished, we got back in the cab and drove back to town. Covered in blood.
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