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A monologue from the play by William Missouri Downs
Hi, It’s Phil from Accounting. Oh well isn’t that something. I too like my green tea with sweet and low. You know I love when a product says what it is.
You know like it’s sweet but it’s also low. Like animal crackers. Right there in the name. Did I mention that I’m an accountant?
Yep, that’s me accounting, matter of fact I’m head of my accounting firm. Yep, that’s my wing. Ok, you caught me, I’m not an accountant.
I’m an accountant’s assistant. I majored in philosophy in college and I know that’s a major turnoff for women.
I once told a blind date that I majored in philosophy and she changed her identity so I wouldn’t call her again.
At least I didn’t major in English, she probably would have faked her own death. (laughs nervously) Oh Oh goodbye.
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