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A monologue from the play by Lindsay Price
Hi. (STILL counts to five as he sits awkwardly) Do you… (silently count to five) So. Cafeteria. Great cafeteria. Come here often?
Of course you do. We all do. Every day. Gotta eat. Eating is important. Don’t eat, you die. (pause) That’s unpleasant.
(pause) Of course we’re not going to die. (pause) Well, we ARE going to die. Someday. We can’t help that, but we can eat and we can prevent that kind of death.
The starvation kind of…death? I should stop talking about death. (pause) It’s morbid. (pause) I should stop. (pause)
I’ll…stop. So. Do you shower? Oh my god,oh my god, I didn’t say that. I didn’t just – Of course you do. You smell very nice!
I just meant…This is not going the way I imagined. Actually, it’s going exactly the way I imagined. You’re disgusted. Aren’t you. (pause)
You’re not saying anything because you are absolutely disgusted. I don’t blame you. I don’t blame you.
(suddenly standing) Wait! Don’t leave. Please? Give me another chance. I can be normal.
I can avoid all abnormal conversation surrounding death and showering, and showering when you’re dead. (pause)
That was a joke. That wasn’t an actual topic of conversation. I don’t think the dead think about body wash.
Ah ha. A smile! Sorry. (He sits.) I… just wanted to ask you to the movies. That’s all. That’s what all this is leading up to.
So. Would you like to go to the movies…..? With me?
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