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A monologue from the play by Sharon Goldner
SIBOBAN ( twelve)
Siboban is a precocious pre-teen. She’s crazy about David Cassidy of The Partridge family.
Her friend Michelle has moved on from unattainable teen heartthrobs like David to a boy in their school.
Michelle likes Mickey Abramovitz now. What, you haven’t heard of Mickey A.? That’s what she calls him.
You haven’t heard of him because he’s nobody you would have ever heard of. Mickey A’s just a boy at school.
Michelle has moved on from the glossy pages of Tiger Beat and 16 Magazine to the high-end gloss of oily skin, pimples, poor attempts at shaving,
and Adam apples that should really be called Adam’s nuts because the voice they produce cracks so much. (Pause)
I meant nuts like peanuts. Not, you know, the other kind. That’s what the boys call their, you know, down there place.
So Michelle is with Mickey A. now. She gave me all of her David Cassidy posters and magazines. I didn’t understand why she can’t like them both, and she said,
“This is not Utah, Siboban.” I realize that, of course. Because of Donny Osmond. He’s on the teen magazines, too.
He’s a Mormon, but he only has one mother. He’s not my type. Too goody-two-shoes. I tried to get Michelle back on board, but she wasn’t interested.
She and Mickey A. got all the way to second base recently. I wasn’t sure what that was exactly, I mean, I always strike out when we play softball in gym.
I’ve never made it even to first base. But then, Michelle cleared that up for me, and I realized, I’ve never made it to first base that way either.
They stuck their tongues in each other’s mouths. Gross! I can’t imagine doing that.
I had to rethink all of those romantic kisses on my mother’s soap operas once I knew what they were doing inside their mouths.
Michelle says that’s why you close your eyes when you’re doing it, so you don’t have to think about it.
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