Container Of Sharks! – Monologue (Joyce)

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A monologue from the play by Don Zolidis

JOYCE

(JOYCE, a nervous inventor presenting her idea to investors)

Hello Sharks. (She takes a deep breath) Sometimes with all of the trauma we are experiencing on a daily basis, we need something that’s a little bit of a stick-me-up. Pick-me-up. 

A pick-me-up. (She is trying to hold it together) I mean a pick-me-up. I said the word wrong. Which is really stupid of me. I always do this – as soon as I have a chance at doing something great I screw it up.

I forgot to tell you my name.  My name is Joyce. Actually you probably already know that from what the Voice said so why am I bothering to say it again?

(She shivers and twitches) Can I start over please? (She starts over)

 Hello Sharks! (Takes another moment) Hello Sharks. Hello Sharks! Hello Sharks. I am so sorry. Hello Humans and Shark!

My name is Joyce, and sometimes with the daily trauma in our lives we need a little something to… a pick-me-up. 

(She’s about to lose it again. She hisses to herself) ‘Get it together, Joyce. You can do this.’ ‘Everyone was right about you.’

‘Shut your face. Shut your stupid face. I’m not listening to you.’ ‘That’s why you fail.’ ‘No. NO. Nooooo.’ (She growls like the Hulk and rallies, talking really fast) 

So what I decided to do was make these stickers! Yes I did! And these stickers come in packs of twelve and you can put them on things!

Like this one if you need to remind yourself of your capabilities!  It says “You can do it!” (She puts the sticker on herself)

But of course you can’t read it if you put it on your shirt, so you need to put it somewhere else so I’m actually going to take the sticker off and put it here. 

(She takes the sticker off and puts it on her arm) It doesn’t really stick as well to skin because that’s not how stickers work, but I’m working on that,

this is just the prototype actually, but… there are other stickers, like this one that says “I believe in you!” Yes! Sometimes you need that. 

Sometimes you need to have someone believe in you, even if you’re the only person who believes in you.

Even if everyone else thinks you’re a loon, and thinks you’ll never make it, and says that your sticker idea is dumb and you’ll never amount to anything and you should’ve never left Bemidji and you’re going to fail in a blaze of fire and you will die alone. Even then. 

(She puts the other sticker on herself and looks at it. Sadly) Sometimes the stickers don’t work. (She sniffles) (She rallies) But I have others!

Like this one which says “You will not die alone.” (She contemplates that sticker)  This one is dark. I mean you probably don’t need a sticker to say this if you were a confident person.

I guess I’m the kind of person who needs a sticker to tell me I’m not going to die alone. But what does the sticker know, honestly?

The sticker doesn’t have some kind of stranglehold on truth. The sticker is just a meaningless saying. Why did I even make them? 

Who would do that? (She takes another sticker, reads it) “You can avoid poor decisions.” (She stops) Can I start over?

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Check out our monologue archive below for more monologues.

ALL KIDDING ASIDE (SCOTTY)CONTAINER OF SHARKS! (JOYCE)
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