Basilica – Monologue (Joe)

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A monologue from the play by Mando Alvarado 

Joe (Late thirties)

Ah babe, I’m not doing so good. I just feel so . . . I wish I could tell you that I got the strength. But, you know I would be bullshitting. You always had a way of seeing through me. I know. 

Like that time, I came home. You put me on that stupid Weight Watcher’s Diet. Small portions, no fast food. I was still the same waist size since high school. So I came home.

You knew I had a Whataburger. But I said, “No babe, I had a salad and one of those meals, like 3 points and shit.” And you just looked at me. That night, I was asleep and you came in and jumped on top of me, with the receipt. 

Whataburger with double meat, double cheese, bacon, mayo, lettuce, tomato, whatasize fries, and whatasized coke. Busted. And an apple pie. So busted.

I miss you. Babe. What am I gonna do without you? How did I f*** up babe? My whole life. I tried to do right. I just don’t get it. I keep thinking I’m gonna wake up and everything’s gonna be fine.

Be like it was. Tell me to wake up. 

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