A monologue from the play by Eric Kaiser

NOTE: This monologue is reprinted with the author’s permission. All inquiries should be directed to the author’s representative at:

GEORGE: Ahh. B. Nero 37981. My arch nemesis. My Diablo. My personal Beelzebub. Do you have your own personal Beelzebub? I have my own personal Beelzebub. He’s a good one. He’s a damn good one. He got my toe last week. That is the only toe I plan to let him have. We have a headsurfing rematch tonight. A rematch with my arch nemesis. He gave a good game, I’ll give it to him, it was good. A good game, I love a good game, I’m not saying that he cheated or got lucky or anything, he had a damn good game. But I swear on Bill Gates himself, that I will have his toe above my head while I sleep tonight. That will be fourteen toes. Fourteen. Twenty three according to your thinking. What do you wanna bet I win tonight? Huh? What you wanna bet? Anything. I’ll bet you anything I win tonight. I’ll bet you a toe I get his toe tonight. HA! That would be two toes tonight I could win. That would be fifteen toes. Or twenty four. You wanna bet a toe I get his toe? Nah, you don’t wanna bet that. I’m tired of betting pinkie toes. I need to up the stakes y’know. At first betting toes was exciting. This is the last toe I bet. After I win B. Nero 37981’s toe. I gotta find something else to bet. Did B. Jones 42132’s toe arrive yet? Why is there not a little beggar with his toe in my door? That’s my thirteenth toe. Thirteen. He was easy. No challenge. He’s no B. Nero 37981.

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