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A monologue from the screenplay written by Adam Mckay and Chris Henchy
Allen
OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean? Lions don’t like water. If you’d placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that’d make sense.
But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I’m assuming it’s off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle.
You lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you’ve wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We’ve talked to ourselves.
We’ve communicated and said, ‘You know what, lion tastes good. Let’s go get some more lion’. We’ve developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your – your pride, your children, your offspring…
We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It’s not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem.
That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You’re out-gunned and out-manned. Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.