SCENE I. Milan. The DUKE’s palace.
Enter VALENTINE and SPEED
Ha! let me see: ay, give it me, it’s mine:
Sweet ornament that decks a thing divine!
Ah, Silvia, Silvia!
Marry, by these special marks: first, you have
learned, like Sir Proteus, to wreathe your arms,
like a malecontent; to relish a love-song, like a
robin-redbreast; to walk alone, like one that had
the pestilence; to sigh, like a school-boy that had
lost his A B C; to weep, like a young wench that had
buried her grandam; to fast, like one that takes
diet; to watch like one that fears robbing; to
speak puling, like a beggar at Hallowmas. You were
wont, when you laughed, to crow like a c*ck; when you
walked, to walk like one of the lions; when you
fasted, it was presently after dinner; when you
looked sadly, it was for want of money: and now you
are metamorphosed with a mistress, that, when I look
on you, I can hardly think you my master.
Without you? nay, that’s certain, for, without you
were so simple, none else would: but you are so
without these follies, that these follies are within
you and shine through you like the water in an
urinal, that not an eye that sees you but is a
physician to comment on your malady.
Dost thou know her by my gazing on her, and yet
knowest her not?
I mean that her beauty is exquisite, but her favour infinite.
That’s because the one is painted and the other out
of all count.
Marry, sir, so painted, to make her fair, that no
man counts of her beauty.
I have loved her ever since I saw her; and still I
see her beautiful.
Because Love is blind. O, that you had mine eyes;
or your own eyes had the lights they were wont to
have when you chid at Sir Proteus for going
ungartered!
Your own present folly and her passing deformity:
for he, being in love, could not see to garter his
hose, and you, being in love, cannot see to put on your hose.
Belike, boy, then, you are in love; for last
morning you could not see to wipe my shoes.
True, sir; I was in love with my bed: I thank you,
you swinged me for my love, which makes me the
bolder to chide you for yours.
Last night she enjoined me to write some lines to
one she loves.
No, boy, but as well as I can do them. Peace!
here she comes.
[Aside] O excellent motion! O exceeding puppet!
Now will he interpret to her.Enter SILVIA
As you enjoin’d me, I have writ your letter
Unto the secret nameless friend of yours;
Which I was much unwilling to proceed in
But for my duty to your ladyship.
Now trust me, madam, it came hardly off;
For being ignorant to whom it goes
I writ at random, very doubtfully.
No, madam; so it stead you, I will write
Please you command, a thousand times as much; And yet–
A pretty period! Well, I guess the sequel;
And yet I will not name it; and yet I care not;
And yet take this again; and yet I thank you,
Meaning henceforth to trouble you no more.
Yes, yes; the lines are very quaintly writ;
But since unwillingly, take them again.
Nay, take them.
Ay, ay: you writ them, sir, at my request;
But I will none of them; they are for you;
I would have had them writ more movingly.
And when it’s writ, for my sake read it over,
And if it please you, so; if not, why, so.
Why, if it please you, take it for your labour:
And so, good morrow, servant.Exit
O jest unseen, inscrutable, invisible,
As a nose on a man’s face, or a weathercock on a steeple!
My master sues to her, and she hath
taught her suitor,
He being her pupil, to become her tutor.
O excellent device! was there ever heard a better,
That my master, being scribe, to himself should write
the letter?
What need she, when she hath made you write to
yourself? Why, do you not perceive the jest?
No believing you, indeed, sir. But did you perceive
her earnest?
I’ll warrant you, ’tis as well:
For often have you writ to her, and she, in modesty,
Or else for want of idle time, could not again reply;
Or fearing else some messenger that might her mind discover,
Herself hath taught her love himself to write unto her lover.
All this I speak in print, for in print I found it.
Why muse you, sir? ’tis dinner-time.
Ay, but hearken, sir; though the chameleon Love can
feed on the air, I am one that am nourished by my
victuals, and would fain have meat. O, be not like
your mistress; be moved, be moved.Exeunt
