Life Science – Monologue (Leah)

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A monologue from the play by Anna Zeigler


I have an iPod Nano.  I have a Dell laptop.  I have a Samsung cell phone.  I have a J. Crew credit card.  I have eleven applications out at eleven schools. 

I have a younger brother and two anxious parents.  I’m not sure who I am and what I’m meant to do.  I’m sorry that I got confused. 

My mom says confusion is just this natural human thing, and unavoidable, but my dad thinks it’s the mark of a weak person and I really don’t want to think of myself that way, as a weak person.  Do you think I’m…?

No, what I’m trying to say is… there are just so many things… My mother was crying last night because what if I don’t get into college, and what if I do? 

And Dylan’s obsessed with the Civil War now and his room is filled with these awful daguerreotypes and you look in these soldiers eyes and just see how they don’t know this is the last picture that they’ll ever have taken of them, that tomorrow they’ll be thrown onto this battlefield and they’ll never come home again.

Um.  What I really mean is… I didn’t mean it when I said I only wanted to go out with you temporarily.  I’m sorry for saying that.  

I think it was a kind of… weak thing to say, or do to you, because I’m realizing more and more that words are acts, or deeds or whatever…

and I wish I could have used mine better, impressed you more by saying the right things.  No.  I wish I could have earned your respect.  So maybe you’ll give me another chance to do that? 

I don’t know.  I mean, it would be great if you called me.  I mean, if you wanted to call me.  But. Okay.  So… Bye.

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