Hello Herman – Monologue (Herman)

A monologue from the play by John Buffalo Mailer

Herman is speaking to a journalist who is interviewing him on death row three days before he will be executed for the mass murder of 39 students and 4 adults.

Herman Howards (sixteen)

I shot her at an angle, so the bullet would go through her skull and blood would splatter all over Marsha.

That b*tch walked around those halls like she owned the place, And why? Because she was a nice-looking piece of a**?

You think that’s gonna fly in the new order?! Sh*t’s going down, Lax. Being some sweet piece of a** or some hotshot reporter don’t cut it anymore. 

It’s the ones like me are going to run the show . Do you know what the largest generation is? Mine. We have more than the baby boomers.

So, you can believe me when I tell you we’re going to do a hell of a lot more than “Rock the Vote”.

More and more kids are going to realize that this is the only way to make you a**holes finally pay attention to us.

And when they do, watch out. I made damn sure to kill more people than that wackjob Cho. You know why?

Because you have to reset the precedent . When Harris and Klebold lit up Columbine, the nation freaked out,

But people didn’t freak our when that kid brought a gun into his school in Georgia, back in June ‘99. 

TJ . Solomon was his name. You know why people didn’t freak out? ‘Cause he only wounded six students.

He didn’t even kill anybody . People looked at that incident and all they said was ‘’At least it’s not as bad as Columbine ”. 

Not with me, Lax, I wasn’t about to settle for some rinky-dink sh*t. Oh, no. I blew that dumb b*tch’s head off and made sure a little got on James Hankley as well. 

But I was never going to kill him, I wanted him to live, so he could write about the day in his precious paper. Marsha on the other hand, she didn’t have a chance. 

Read the play here

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