Bridget Jones Diary – Monologue (Bridget)

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A monologue from the screen play by Andrew Davies, Richard Curtis, and Helen Fielding (Based on the novel by Helen Fielding)


And that was it. Right there. Right there. That was the moment I suddenly realized that unless some thing changed soon, I was going to live a life where my major relationship was with a bottle of wine and I’d finally die fat and alone and be found three weeks later, half-eaten by Alsatians.

Or I was about to turn into Glenn Close in “Fatal Attraction.” And so I made a major decision. I had to make sure that next year I wouldn’t end up shit-faced and listening to sad FM easy-listening for the over-thirties.

I decided to take control of my life and start a diary to tell the truth about Bridget Jones— the whole truth. Resolution number one–oh–obviously will lose twenty pounds. Number two: always put last night’s panties in the laundry basket.

Equally important: will find nice sensible boyfriend to go out with and not continue to form romantic attachments to any of the following: alcoholics, workaholics, commitment-phobics, peeping toms, megalomaniacs, emotional fuckwits, or perverts.

And especially will not fantasize about a particular person who embodies all these things.

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