Blazing Saddles – Monologue (Jim)

A monologue from the screenplay by Mel Brooks & Andrew Bergman

Jim

Yeah, I was the kid…it got so that every pissant prairie punk who thought he could shoot a gun would ride into town to try out the Waco Kid. 

I must’ve killed more men than Cecil B Demille. Got pretty gritty. I started to hear the word draw in my sleep. Then one day, I was just walking down the street, and I heard a voice behind me say, 

“Reach for it Mister!” I spun around and there I was face to face with a six-year-old kid. Well I just threw my guns down and walked away….little b*stard shot me in the a**!! 

So I limped to the nearest saloon, crawled into a whiskey bottle, and I’ve been there ever since.

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